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Leading with Emotional Intelligence E-Zine - Issue No. 27/August 2008

Dear Reader,

Do you like reading? I suppose so, otherwise you probably wouldn't be subscribed to our monthly articles.

I personally read a lot but also know from experience, while reading might give you inspiration and new ideas, it is making actual changes in the way we think and do things that truly makes a difference to one's life.

I've come across numerous people who 'know' tons of things but when it comes to applying what they know, they often fail miserably.

So yes, knowing is an important first step, but application of learning is key. How much do you apply of what you know?

Let's keep progressing!

Charlie Lang
Executive Coach and Founder of Progress-U Ltd.
Author of The Groupness Factor

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Sharing With You “Becoming a Resonant Leader”

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by Sebastien Henry, Executive Coach & Trainer Emotional Intelligence Expert for Progress-U Ltd.

This month I would like to share with you a recently published book that is well worth reading if you are interested in becoming an inspiring leader by developing your Emotional Intelligence. I guess that you are or else you would not have subscribed to this series of monthly articles!

I find many Emotional Intelligence books disappointing. They are either impractical, or shower you with dozens of suggestions or tricks without getting you thinking.

This one is somehow different. It was written by a team of academicians and consultants. Two of them (Richard Boyatzis and Annie McKee) have already made contributions to the field of Emotional Intelligence with previous books (“Primal Leadership: Learning to Lead with Emotional Intelligence” and “Resonant Leadership”).

So what is special about this book? To be honest, this is still not the book I have been dreaming of for my clients who ask me to recommend a good book to read on Emotional Intelligence. But it has several important merits.

First of all, this is a book that gets you thinking. The authors ask a lot of questions...about you. Their objective is to raise your awareness and to give you a chance to find your own answers. In the end, this book will actually bring you more questions than answers, which is precisely what I appreciate as a professional coach. As a coach, I am fully convinced that our clients get the best value when they find their own answers to the question we ask them.

The downside is that if you are looking for a book to provide you with detailed information on what Emotional Intelligence is and why it is crucial for a leader, you will probably be disappointed. I would recommend you to read first “Emotional Intelligence” by Daniel Goldman, or “Primal Leadership: Learning to Lead with Emotional Intelligence” by Richard Boyatzis and Annie McKee.

Also, you need to be aware that there is a strict condition for you to get real value out of this book: you have to take the time to step back and take time to answer the questions asked by the authors. Just reading won’t be enough. So it requires some effort and discipline. Probably, this is not a book you can read lying lazily on the beach!

Secondly, this book has several ideas and insights that you don’t find in most books on Emotional Intelligence. Having read more than 20 books on this topic, this was really exciting to me!

Here are three points I find worth mentioning:

1. The authors suggest that most leaders underestimate the impact they have on people around them. Of course, this impact goes way beyond hierarchical power. This impact is made of how we radiate our energy, moods and personal balance on people around us. The more senior we are in an organization, the bigger this impact is.

Therefore, they encourage leaders to fully own their personal power. The rationale behind is that people who recognize their power tend to use it more consciously and conscientiously.

2. Boyatzis and McKee take into account the fact that many careers of leaders are disrupted at some point by what they call the “power stress” and the “sacrifice syndrome”. These are times when our energy gets drained and we somehow feel that we are out of touch with ourselves.

The authors promote the concept of “renewal”: leaders need to find ways to “renew” themselves regularly in order to avoid the “sacrifice syndrome”. These ways may vary a lot from one leader to another. But one common point is that it requires discipline to:

1. identify these ways to “renew” ourselves
2. create habits to translate them into reality.

3. This book promotes two words that are not common in the field of leadership, even when it comes to Emotional Intelligence: hope and compassion. The authors argue that leaders should be skilled at generating hope and practicing compassion.

This may sound as way too soft to many ears. At the same time, they have very good arguments for their case. (Actually, their previous book, “Resonant Leadership” is even more detailed on this issue.)

For those of you who might be skeptical, I would like to recommend to you another book (that I already recommended in a previous article): “A long walk to freedom”, the autobiography of Nelson Mandela. One of the world’s most admired leaders, Mandela stands out with many exceptional qualities that he sustained through 27 years in jail. Two of these qualities certainly are the ability to generate hope for his people and to express compassion even to those who kept him in jail for so long.

I wish you to be inspired by those readings this month!

Warmly,

Sebastien

Feel free to contact me if you wish to discuss the content of this article. I am passionate about this issue and always enjoy sharing views and ideas.

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