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Leading with Emotional Intelligence E-Zine - Issue No. 7/ August/September 2006

Dear Reader,

If you know me a bit, you certainly know that I am passionate about excellent leadership. I frequently wrote that I find it amazing how little traditional education includes the development of the perhaps most important competency for any organization: leadership.

I frequently search the web to check out the latest developments in the area of leadership. I was pleased to see that an increasing number of MBA programs not only include considerable numbers of units related to leadership, but that some of them also include the development of Emotional Intelligence (EI). This clearly indicates a growing awareness of the importance of EI in management and leadership.

I trust that this E-zine helps you in further developing your own EI. Sebastien, our EI specialist, is equally passioante about EI and personal development as I am for leadership in general.

I hope you enjoy Sebastien's article.

Let's keep progressing!

Charlie Lang
Executive Coach and Founder of Progress-U Ltd.
Author of The Groupness Factor

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A TROUBLEMAKER WITH LOW EQ IN YOUR TEAM? WHAT CAN YOU DO?

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by Sebastien Henry

“Trouble brings experience, and experience brings wisdom."

-- Author unknown

Let’s call him Peter.

He acts professionally and, overall, does a great job. It’s just that it has become harder and harder to cope with his emotional upheavals, his fits of temper, his insensitivity to other people’s feelings, his tendency to damage trust with the people around him, and on top of that, his lack of awareness of what’s going on.

Well, first of all, if Peter is your boss, too bad for you. Some people would suggest the option of “coaching your boss”. It can work to some extent. But several studies have pointed to a more likely outcome in this kind of situation: Team members will eventually leave. A bad relationship with the boss is regularly cited as one of the main reasons employees leave, well ahead of money issues.

If you are the boss, and Peter is one of your team members, it is not going to be an easy ride either, but there is at least something you can do. But what exactly?

DO IT YOURSELF

I always encourage managers to take the initiative in fixing the problem at their level. This means going to the team member and sending a clear message that the member needs to make changes in behavior. If managers take their role as managers seriously (and I bet that you do if you’re reading this Ezine), chances are that some changes will take place.

At the same time, there is one important point I’d like to emphasize: In order to raise your people’s emotional intelligence at work, even assuming that they truly want to change, they’ll need regular support. Their behavior probably has roots that have been growing for years and years, if not decades. It does not mean that it is going to take years to effect change, but it will certainly require some effort and some support. That means from you, too.

My point is that it is not likely that you will obtain any significant change by giving feedback once every two or three months, or even every month. In order to change, people need very regular feedback, probably weekly, on what they’re trying to do differently, on what works and what does not.

In other words, it is going to take you some time and energy. Are you prepared to spend this time and energy? If not, another option is to hire a coach.

HIRE A COACH

Hiring a coach to assist you offers several benefits:

• It saves you time and energy…but you still have to be involved (cf below).
• It can give a boost to the change process by bringing some external input.
• In the most difficult cases (e.g., when people don’t even see that there is anything to change in their behavior), coaches can start working on assessments, building a more solid case for change. Indeed, it is much harder to challenge the conclusions of an assessment.

Even so, there are three strict conditions for a coaching program to bring results.

Let’s go back to the case of Peter.

The first and most important condition for a coaching program to succeed is to make sure that Peter is engaged in the coaching program, and willing to go for it.

This requires the coaching program to be introduced as an opportunity for him to grow and to be more successful.

On the opposite, it is doomed to fail if it is introduced as a way to fix his problems. He would be likely to stay on the defensive, and not much would be achieved.

Second, stay involved in the coaching process, by meeting regularly with the coach. Keep offering your support to your team member.

And third, give ownership by offering two critical choices to your team member:

- Let Peter chose whether or not to go for a coaching program at all.
- Let him chose between at least two or three coaches if he agrees to go for a coaching program.

These are the most important conditions for an EQ-based coaching program to be successful.

Feel free to contact me if you wish to discuss the content of this article. I am passionate about this issue and always enjoy sharing views and ideas.

Let’s keep progressing !

Sebastien

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