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Progress! First-Class Leadership - Issue No. 4/ April 2005

Dear Reader,

Recently I have been getting feedback that our newsletter articles are too long. As a result, even people who are very interested in leadership issues stop reading our newsletters.

Consequently, I decided to create a new format already being used by many newspapers: the actual article will be preceded by a short synopsis that provides enough content to let you decide if you want to read the whole article. Those interested in the complete article can follow the link to the respective web page.

I hope that this format proves to be useful in:

• saving your time; and
• motivating you to check out our monthly e-zine.

Keep Progressing!

Charlie Lang
Executive Coach and Founder of Progress-U Ltd.

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Leadership Coaching

How to Create More Impact
by Charlie Lang

What are the main reasons for not getting what we want? Why do deals fail? Why do underperformers exist? The possible reasons are almost innumerable, but poor communication is definitely at the heart of many deal-breakers. Progress-U's "How to Create More Impact" program helps executives find ways to communicate more effectively through a new mindset and a modified communication style.

"I get so frustrated with my lawyer! He's not very experienced and whenever I tell him about some details of the law that he's not aware of, he gets quite upset! He probably thinks he's god or something."

This was the recent complaint of one of my coaching clients, who we'll call Susan. She told me that her lawyer wasn't competent and that he never seems to meet deadlines. A couple of times, his incompetence almost made them lose cases that have been ongoing for months.

The first thing that usually comes to mind when we hear stories of this sort is: Why doesn't Susan find a better lawyer?

Besides the fact that their professional relationship had been ongoing for several months and it would be too much of an effort to introduce a new lawyer to complicated cases, there is also a fair chance that similar problems may occur again with another lawyer. Here's why: coaching sessions revealed that, more than anything else, it was the way Susan communicated with her lawyer that demotivated him. What do people do when they are not motivated to work for you? They make you the last possible priority. As a result, things don't get done on time, the quality of work is not up to the expected standard and communication is tense - all undesirable outcomes.

I've often seen similar problems between a boss and certain subordinates, between colleagues, between sales people and potential customers, and so on.

What happens in such cases on a psychological level?

Generally, people prioritize tasks assigned to them by people with whom they have good rapport. In effect, getting what you want actually boils down to relationship building. If you are able to create excellent rapport even with people you may not respect that much or those you don't really like, then you are much more likely to get the outcome you want. This is the basis for the techniques of creating impact that leads to success.

What did Susan learn during our coaching sessions?

• If she won't change the way she communicates with her lawyer, she won't considerably change their dynamic.
• Susan learned she needed to create a positive relationship with her lawyer, and to achieve this, it was necessary to:
  • Change her mindset (accept weaknesses, show respect, give the benefit of the doubt)
  • Change her communication style (allow her lawyer to have ownership of ideas and plans, share necessary knowledge in a non-offensive manner, openly point out her mistakes to foster open communication)

I find that executives have difficulty accepting that they are wrong. Usually, the higher up they are in rank, the harder it is for them to accept the possibility that they could be at fault.

What reaction did Susan get when she insisted she was right? A defensive reaction, naturally! And what happened when she became responsible for her errors? Her lawyer opened up. As a matter of fact, many times he would take the blame away from her and blame himself instead. In any case, the tension was lifted from their conversations and the lawyer was motivated to work with Susan.

It is not easy to change the way we communicate because our mindset is usually deeply ingrained and our communication style has become a strong habit. But it is possible to change! Coaching (1:1 or group coaching) is an effective intervention to work on both mindset and communication style.

Progress-U's "How to Create More Impact" in-house seminar helps executives make their communication more effective - for the benefit of their organization and themselves. For more info, please contact us.

For more information related to Progress-U Leadership Coaching please visit click here.

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Charlie Lang is an Executive Coach and Trainer who founded Progress-U Limited in 2002. His mission is to develop his clients to become First-Class Leaders. He is a passionate and professional Executive Coach, Mentor Coach, Trainer, Public Speaker and Author of articles related to leadership, change management and innovative sales. In 2004, he initiated the Master Coach Alliance in Hong Kong, a network of professional Life, Business and Corporate Coaches. End of 2004, he started authoring a book on First-Class Leadership which is due to be published in mid-2005. Copyright 2002-2005 Progress-U Limited