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Leading with Emotional Intelligence E-Zine - Issue No. 19/ October 2007
Dear Reader,
Last week I had a conversation with several HR directors and managers in Shanghai. They shared with me that a recent worldwide survey found that HR executives in China are the most stressed ones in the world! Also, among all departments in companies in China, HR has the highest workload measured by the number of hours they work per week.
At first, I was surprised about these findings but soon I understood the root cause for this situation: it's the incredibly high staff turnover rate which meanwhile reached an average (!) of over 20%. I heard of one case where the factory had a turnover rate of 75% in one year!!
Obviously, this puts a huge burden on HR simply because of all the related work like exit interviews, finding new staff, interviews, contracting, etc. etc.
Recent international surveys consistently show that only about 20% of all people who leave do so primarily for monetary reasons. Surveys in China show only slightly higher percentages. The main reasons why people leave are:
- Lack of career opportunities
- Relationship with the superior
- Atmosphere in the company
- Lack of development (training / coaching)
Do you notice that all these reasons have to do with leadership? Obviously, there is a massive need to develop more capable leaders in China. It saddens me to see how much value is destroyed because of poor leadership and how HR is at the receiving end of this unfortunate development.
Luckily, an increasing number of senior managers realize the need for leadership development and the best of them start with themselves, for example by developing their own emotional intelligence.
Let's keep progressing!
Charlie Lang
Executive Coach and Founder of Progress-U Ltd.
Author of The Groupness Factor
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in Shanghai: on November 7-9 and December 5-7, 2007
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Taking our Emotional Masks off
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by Sebastien Henry
 Recently, two separate but apparently connected events led me to think about how we sometimes wear masks when we interact with others. Therefore, in this issue of “Leading with Emotional Intelligence”, I’d like to invite you to reflect on this topic.
Do you feel that you are sometimes wearing a mask when interacting with others? Do you at times feel that it harms you in some way? What would be the benefits of removing this mask?
The first event that happened was during a training course. I was doing an exercise I like a lot, which I call the “Emotional landscape”. I invited participants to use pictures from magazines to present their “emotional landscape”, that is, how they feel on a typical day at work.
Then a successful, energetic and friendly executive presented his “emotional landscape”. In the middle of his landscape was a picture of a laughing face, and he presented it as how he usually interacts with other people.
To me, the picture he chose really looked like a mask. As I shared my perception of his picture, he started to realize that indeed there were several emotions that he did not allow himself to express at work, like frustration or anger.
Then he went on a courageous and moving piece of personal work, leading him to the conclusion that he wanted to express more of these emotions. I saw the excitement and drop in tension created by this insight.
A few days later, a fellow trainer invited me to a workshop on removing our masks that took place right in the evening of the day I met her. What a coincidence, I thought.
Wearing a mask means not allowing ourselves to express some emotions that are part of us. For some people, it is fear or worry, for others, frustration or anger.
There are certainly reasons for wearing a mask. Sometimes, we think that if we express fully our emotions, people will dislike us. While this can happen, it is more likely that people will appreciate us more for expressing fully our emotions, as we will see below.
But what is the risk of not expressing our emotions, of wearing a mask? There are mainly two:
- We may create some extra tension for ourselves as we try hard not to release our emotions.
- People may perceive us as not really genuine, or suspect us of having some hidden agenda. Masks are nice to be used in a party. However, at work, people don’t really enjoy seeing them on their colleagues’ faces.
I really encourage you to have a look at some emotions that you may leave unexpressed, especially those that you experience on a regular basis.
Awareness of these unexpressed emotions is already half of the way. The other half of the way is to practice expressing these emotions. This may be a bit uncomfortable at first, taking you out of your comfort zone. A pinch of diplomacy might also be needed.
At the same time, there is a lot to gain in taking our masks off.
First, it gives us a chance to feel more relaxed, getting rid of the tension created by holding back emotions. Also, communicating with others with our full emotional landscape can make us feel more whole and more true to ourselves, which is a great feeling.
Secondly, there are good chances that our colleagues will appreciate us more as a genuine and congruent person - a person that they can trust.
The good news is that you don’t have to throw your mask away after removing it. You can always use it for parties.
I wish you more and more rich relationships with your colleagues.
Feel free to contact me if you wish to discuss the content of this article. I am passionate about this issue and always enjoy sharing views and ideas.
For more information related to Progress-U Leadership Training and Coaching, please click here.
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 Sebastien Henry is Progress-U’s expert for Emotional Intelligence (EQ) and Stress Management. He works with executives who want to:
- avoid feeling exhausted and uprooted as their career takes them to the top;
- become more inspiring leaders by developing their Emotional Intelligence (EQ) at work; and, as a consequence
- be able to motivate their people more and retain the best.
Having worked in an Asia-Pacific regional position at a multinational company, Sebastien has experimented extensively on how to develop Emotional Intelligence in his daily work life. He is currently writing a book on this topic. His articles on Emotional Intelligence in Leadership have been published in Human Resources and South China Morning Post.
He firmly believes in action, and the tools he uses and shares are derived from several areas of his life: his business experience as a corporate executive, of course, but also his intensive practice of mountaineering and rock climbing (7a on-sight and more than 50 alpine routes), his commitment to teach and coach prisoners, and his daily meditations for more than six years.
Positions of his clients as a one-to-one coach are: Asia/Pacific General Manager, Country General Manager, Department Head, etc.
Languages: Spoken and written Mandarin, Japanese, English, French (native language)
Credentials:
• MBA, BA in Psychology, BA in Philosophy
• Certified NLP Practitioner and Master Practitioner
• Certified NLP Trainer (NLPU, USA)
• Certified Coach (ICC)
• More than 40 days of training with the Gestalt approach at the Paris School of Gestalt
• Certified Trainer of the "EQ Impact Learning" program (Talentsmart, USA)
Services offered: 1:1 Executive Coaching, Group Seminars and Workshops, Key Note Speeches |
Copyright 2007 by Progress-U Limited
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You may copy any of the articles written by Sebastien Henry to your web site, or distribute them in your e-zine or magazine, provided that you include the following attribution (including a link to http://www.progressu.com.hk):
With permission of Sebastien Henry, Executive Coach & Trainer of Progress-U Ltd |
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